In Which Briana Comforted Me While I Felt Stuff
Tuesday, May 27, 2008 10:13pm
15 days
Nope, I still have some unresolved feelings that I haven’t released, mostly about Blair. I broke down in front of Briana. I just needed to cry again. Sometimes I wish feelings would just go away, that I wouldn’t have to care about anybody or have to let someone go. That my heart wouldn’t ache each time I say goodbye with no high prospects of seeing a person again , for a very long time, or hearing their voice. I told Briana, I will be glad that I won’t have this freedom to call Blair. She retorted that the mission is about stuff that will happen and can be done than about what is going to be stopped or forbidden.
I’ll have to put on some armor because I know that she will probably forget my birthday which is on Friday. That’ll hurt. Wait, but what am I saying, she didn’t forget it. She bought me a present at the mall, the day I spent a whole lot more than I should have. I have two mixed emotions: I want to forget her completely and get on with my life, or; I want her to be every last second of it. That she care about me. I’m TERRIBLE. I gotta get rid of feelings, they’re killing me.
Today, Granny and Grandpa went home. Fortunately, they were good feelings. I enjoyed them and they helped out a lot.
Tomorrow, Cody and I are going to the San Diego Temple and participating in an endowment session. It should be good and fun. We will be able to talk about life, I guess.
15 days
Nope, I still have some unresolved feelings that I haven’t released, mostly about Blair. I broke down in front of Briana. I just needed to cry again. Sometimes I wish feelings would just go away, that I wouldn’t have to care about anybody or have to let someone go. That my heart wouldn’t ache each time I say goodbye with no high prospects of seeing a person again , for a very long time, or hearing their voice. I told Briana, I will be glad that I won’t have this freedom to call Blair. She retorted that the mission is about stuff that will happen and can be done than about what is going to be stopped or forbidden.
I’ll have to put on some armor because I know that she will probably forget my birthday which is on Friday. That’ll hurt. Wait, but what am I saying, she didn’t forget it. She bought me a present at the mall, the day I spent a whole lot more than I should have. I have two mixed emotions: I want to forget her completely and get on with my life, or; I want her to be every last second of it. That she care about me. I’m TERRIBLE. I gotta get rid of feelings, they’re killing me.
Today, Granny and Grandpa went home. Fortunately, they were good feelings. I enjoyed them and they helped out a lot.
Tomorrow, Cody and I are going to the San Diego Temple and participating in an endowment session. It should be good and fun. We will be able to talk about life, I guess.
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